Episode 22 : The Patriot Act in One Act

In commemoration of the looming renewal of the full Patriot Act the Artist v. Scientist Podcast proudly present The Patriot Act in One Act. What do big brothers do? They try to embarrass you in front of your friends. (17:36)

Episode 21 : Turtle Neck Threater

This episode was inspired by real events but the characters depicted are (obviously) fictitious; any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and/or laziness. For your listening pleasure we now present Turtle Neck Threater [sic]. Quickly, before the lawyers descend, click it! (24:47)

The Artist v. Scientist Podcast - Trivializing Bomb Threats Since 2009.

President or Jihad?

President or Jihad? Mr. Phil Wolf would like to know at 1-720-898-9019. We gave him a call and answered his question. Easy! Give him a call too! Check out the visual representation below or you can download the video directly here. (1:21)

Episode 20 : You're In Trouble

You're in trouble folks! The artist shares a story from his past in one of his most intimate fireside chats. But don't sit too close to the fire ladies and gentlemen or the pee will evaporate. (19:31)

Episode 19 : Quality Control = Empty Set

AVSstring cmd = "SEARCH=(COND=(Quality AND Episode));" +
"OPTION=(SEARCH_INDEX=(AVSPODCAST); MAX_RESULTS=1 ;
{System.out.println("This is a quality episode")})";

QueryResults{
fatal error try again !
} (14:23)

Episode 18 : This Is Your Life

Put on your mystery voice folks! This is This Is Your Life! Special thanks to Archivist. (29:19)

Episode 17 : No Why Sky Is Blue

Have you ever wondered why the sky is blue? Well, screw you! (12:30)

Episode 16 : NSFP II

The shattering conclusion of the Artist v. Scientist brother set parent trap. Real life podcast drama, ladies and germs? And it's free? (19:56)

Episode 15 : NSFP I

Your mother has such good hearing that she listens to the Artist v. Scientist Podcast. Real life podcast drama, ladies and germs? And it's free? (14:25)

Audio Instructional Series : Part 1 - Guitar

If you don't want to learn how to rock and roll on guitar then don't bother listening to part one of the ongoing Audio Instructional Series - Guitar. Get your axe ready! Disclaimer: Don't bother getting your axe ready! (6:47)

Episode 14 : Halloween Special

In advance of the Halloween festivities we present to you this scaretastical episode of the Artist v. Scientist Podcast so that you might get you into the holiday... spirits? Happy Halloween to all and to all a good night. Or should I say... good fright? What's that? You just want it to be good night? Okay, sorry. (7:00)

Episode 13 : The Public Option

In this episode the artist and scientist debate the merits of the public option (sort of). Plus, a touching story about the clap; why does one thing always lead to another? (21:28)

Episode 12 : I Have A Big Penis

On the eve of the death of Captain Lou Albano the scientist finds the courage to admit he has a big penis; the artist would rather not hear about it. But you can hear all about it in episode twelve of the Artist v. Scientist podcast. (21:50)

Episode 11 : Nano

In this eleventh episode spectacular the scientist learns another valuable life lesson, a horribly valuable lesson. It's sure to be a collectible episode featuring the first appearance of Nano. Trade with your friends! (11:54)

Episode 10 : Schwinn(g)

The artist and scientist talk to a real live woman as she dares to reveal the sordid details surrounding the seedy underbelly of organized "bike clubs." What's on the table and what's off the table as far as female masturbation is concerned? Will the bike seat make the cut? What about the table? Stay tuned to the most orgasmic episode of the Artist v. Scientist podcast to date. (22:01)

The Lizard People Tapes : Part 5 (of 5)

The last installment is finally here! Ultimately just like so many other tales it's a love story; we're talking about part 5 (of 5) of the Lizard People Tapes. (09:32)

Episode 9 : I Quit!

In this episode the scientist calls it quits. Plus, some girl talk; are women trying to hide their alleged perversion towards some potentially illicit activity? (28:09)

The Lizard People Tapes : Part 4 (of 5)

A "courageous" caller blows the lid off the whole damn thing; I mean, look, it's part 4 (of 5) of the Lizard People Tapes. Reptilians? Illuminati? Freemasons? New World Order? Why all these distractions? (10:14)

Episode 8 : Young At Heart

The gang learns an important life lesson. Jimmy Durante guest stars on a very special episode of Artist v. Scientist. (06:15)

The Lizard People Tapes : Part 3 (of 5)

A "courageous" caller blows the lid off the whole damn thing; here's the thing, it's part 3 (of 5) of the Lizard People Tapes. Home is where you, you know..., end up... when... the spaghetti's done. (08:52)

Episode 7 : The State Inspection Ate My Baby

In episode 7 the artist and scientist talk to the auto mechanic in order to reveal the results of the state's vehicle inspection. It's pass or fail and even lady liberty herself might not be left standing once the dust settles. That or the scientist will just pay for the repairs. Plus, it's national "fuck work and go ride a go-kart" day. (22:26)

Go check out the band Nag Champayons at www.nagchampayons.com, please. The site's just been launched so give them some time to put up some music will ya?

Episode 7 Prologue : Prelude to an Inspection

We now take you to the auto shop waiting room where the scientist is reporting live. Scientist, why are the local residents so concerned about the prologue to episode 7? (06:18)

The Lizard People Tapes : Part 2 (of 5)

A "courageous" caller blows the lid off the whole damn thing; you know, it's part 2 (of 5) of the Lizard People Tapes. The views expressed by the lizard people person are definitely not those of the artist nor the scientist. (08:25)

Here's what some people are saying about the "Lizard People Tapes":

"dont listen to teh lizard people tapes."
- zarallax69

"FAIL!"
-PAsTmpRster

"First let me tell you, I have absolutely no sense of self importance and it's safe to say I hate myself. I do not think that my time is at all precious or valuable. In fact I spend most of my time watching internet videos of cats playing an assortment of musical instruments. And yet I cannot express how much I greatly regret losing the several minutes that I will never get back after listening to the Lizard People Tapes-Part 1. If there is a hell may you burn in it for eternity. If there is no hell may you spend the rest of your days on this earth literally on fire."
-kittylovermeow33317

Episode 6 : Emendator Ex Machina

It's episode 6 of the Artist v. Scientist podcast. (20:11)

Episode 5 : A Rolling Vibrator

It's the difficult fifth episode featuring the tale of the rolling vibrator, another call to all the Canadians, skankle, the electric butt plug with travel adapter, and more. (27:34)

Who is the lizard people person?

The Lizard People Tapes : Part 1 (of 5)

A "courageous" caller blows the lid off the whole damn thing; listen it's part 1 (of 5) of the Lizard People Tapes. (09:47)

Episode 4 : God, Guns and Glory and Science - Part 2

We'd like to dedicate the second part of this fourth episode to you. (11:09)

Episode 4 : God, Guns and Glory and Science - Part 1

We'd like to dedicate the first part of this fourth episode to god. (37:14)

Call to 1-877-JAIL-FON

Bonus material? Yes. The scientist calls his loved ones to wish them a happy birthday. Warning: birthdays aren't for everyone and the sound quality is not that great from jail. (03:30)

Update (9-03-09): The sound quality has been improved.

Episode 3 : The Canadian Listener

Episode 3 is here. The artist and scientist issue a request to their first Canadian listener. And... NEWS! (30:32)